I’ve been MIA for a few days, and I’d love to say there was a great reason like we were hiking up Mount Olympos or sailing along the coast on a private gulet, but the sad reality is that we’ve found a place that has completely sapped our will to do anything. Over the years, we’ve stayed in some great places (which helps balance out some of the sketchy ones), and our new hotel could hold it’s own against any of those.

We knew these last three nights would be the end of our vacation, so decided before we left Seattle that we would splurge a little and found a Renaissance in Antalya (or at least that we thought was in Antalya – we are in a little town called Beldibi, about 15 miles north). It’s always a bit like the Clampetts when we check into a higher end hotel, as we seem to always be the only people showing up with giant backpacks instead of real luggage. However, we take it to a new level by immediately locking ourselves out on the balcony, leaving no option but to scale down the front of the building on the fire escape and nonchalantly strolling back up to the registration desk to ask for another room key.

That unpleasantness aside, there’s not a whole lot I can say other than it has been a glorious way to spend a few days. It turns out that this hotel is an all-inclusive, and it’s clearly taking things to a much higher level than the all-inclusive place we stayed at in Side. After a giant breakfast, a whole lot of drinks, lunch for five, and an afternoon snack of Turkish pancakes, at dinner I can barely even look at food without feeling the urge to barf.

We do manage to pull ourselves away for a few minutes on our final night in Turkey to pick up a few souvenirs from the market across the street. Our flight tomorrow leaves at 8:00 am, which means a pretty early start for us. After the past few days, we’re definitely very sad to be leaving (our travel rules dictate that we can’t come back to the same place twice, but I have to admit, I could be easily tempted to try and find a loophole), but it has been a long time away from the boys and we can’t wait to see their faces.

This morning started with a little Sherpa duty, hauling our bags about a quarter mile down the beach to our new (and hopefully, rooster free) hotel. It’s a little higher end as well, coming complete with hot water at any time of the day.

A general malaise is setting in with the Roberts’ as we near the end of our vacation, and having finally found warm, sunny weather, more and more of our days are being consumed splayed out on beach chairs. Here too there are a lot of healthy people playing hide the bikini, which I guess is a good thing, in that they are clearly far less self-conscious than we are. I try and convince Angela she should tan Euro-style to fit in, but that idea doesn’t make it too far.

As we turn in for the night, the good news is that there aren’t any roosters in the neighborhood. The bad news is that there’s a cat party – and boy, do the cats here know how to party. After being kept awake for several hours, I can’t help but hope that if I somehow fail to achieve enlightenment in this life, that next time I come back as a Turkish cat.

Our plans are to spend a couple of days here before moving back up the coast a bit to Antalya, where the airport is for our flight home.

After gorging one last time at the breakfast buffet (it’s amazing how good hot dogs cut into chunks and called sausages can taste when you realize it might be your last real meal for a while), we check out of our hotel and head off to the bus to take us into Side (see-day). The general idea is that by staying in town, there will be more for us to do during the day than just roast on the beach, and in the evenings, we’ll be able to pick from a plethora of fine dining options.

Through Tripadvisor (which is batting .500 this trip), we find a place called the Leda Beach Hotel for the princely sum of $38. In addition to being on a beach, it is right next to the old section of town, which is the part we figure we most want to see. Given all that, what could possibly go wrong?

First though, a little more about Side. The city has been in this location since before the Romans (although it has had many different names throughout the years), and unlike the ruins at Pergamon and Ephesus, which are fenced off and controlled, here, the city has just grown right around them. Some of the bigger buildings like the theater and Temple of Apollo still stand on their own, but smaller structures and parts of the city walls have just been absorbed into a fairly bustling, mid-sized city. For the locals its clearly no big thing, big for me, it takes a bit of getting used to that 2,000 year old column being used as a birdbath stand or the arch of that ancient aqueduct being the perfect spot for a table for two.

The majority of the old town is packed with restaurants, small hotels, and souvenir shops. We decide to spend the afternoon wandering through the maze of streets, looking for gifts to bring back for the kids, but quickly find that unlike any other country we’ve been to, there isn’t really a lot of stuff geared towards to tourists (or, I suppose, the kinds of tourists that come here don’t take home the kinds of things we do). Sure, there are all kinds off knock-off clothes and handbags, but nowhere in the hundreds of shops do we see a basic Turkey t-shirt for a seven year old.

We come away from old town empty handed, but do find a nice restaurant that is built into a restored Roman building overlooking the water. We go for the Anatolian Special, which arrives at our table in a clay pot on a bed a of burning salt. A bit kitschy, yes, but fitting given the location, and one of the tastiest meals we have had here. The timing also works out well, as while we are eating, the skies open up and it pours down rain.

Back at the hotel, we settle in for the night. For $38, the accommodations are a little basic (it reminds us of the Sugar Shack at the lake), but comfortable, and with my favorite feature of all – separate beds (for reasons unknown, is most hotels here they only have one scrappy blanket to use to keep warm and somehow I always end up on the short of that deal). All is good until about 2:00 in the morning, when the rooster next door decides its time to wake up. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, this rooster is the Grandma Katie of roosters, talking to pretty much anything, at anytime.

By the time morning finally rolls around, and with Katie rooster still talking away, we just want to get cleaned up, repack and move down the beach to another hotel we looked at. Forgetting that most places here use solar to provide hot water and that the sun is barely up, the cleaning up part go surprisingly quickly and provides a nice little pick-me-up to offset the lack of sleep. It looks like it is going to be a nice day, but I predict very little activity on our part.

There is a passage in Homer’s Odyssey about an island where the only food is the fruit of a lotus tree, that when eaten, causes a person to lose all desire to leave. Well, I concede that there has been an absence of activity on this blog of late, the reason being that we entered the land of the Lotus-eaters. It is only now that we have broken free that I can retell the tale.

After our day in Pamukkale, we once again boarded the bus to travel south towards Antalya and the area known as the Turkish Riviera. Our hotel is actually in a town called Side, about 40 miles further out, so we make the wise choice of finding a company with a route that will take us all the way there to avoid having to change buses. Even though the distance is shorter than Cesme to Pamukkale, it takes almost 90 minutes longer (close to five hours) to complete the trip, and by the time we are dropped off, we can’t even bear the thought of having to get on another bus.

“I was driven thence by foul winds for a space of 9 days upon the sea, but on the tenth day we reached the land of the Lotus-eaters…”

In this part of the country, most of the hotels built up along the beach are big resorts that offer all-inclusive packages to predominantly German and Russian tourists. They go against pretty much everything I believe in when it comes to travel, but Angela makes the very valid point, that I’ve never actually been to one so can’t say whether I’ll like it or not. Besides, after almost three weeks bouncing around Turkey, the idea of just plopping down in a beach chair and not having to think about anything does hold some appeal.

To make a long story short, it is everything I feared and more – the culmination of the earsplitting sounds and cutting-edge fashions of the Great Wolf Lodge violently combined with the unrestrained chaos and culinary mediocrity of a Las Vegas buffet. Funny thing is, no matter how much we joke about the industrial food, the serious shortage of swimsuit fabric, or the dearth of anything remotely resembling Turkish culture, we can’t bring ourselves to leave.

“They … went about among the Lotus-Eaters, who did them no hurt, but gave them to eat of the lotus, which was so delicious that those who ate of it left off caring about home, and did not even want to go back and say what had happened to them, but were for staying and munching lotus with the Lotus-eaters without thinking further of their return.”

Our saving grace is that when we did pick this hotel, we booked only three of the six nights we have in this area just in case we didn’t like where we were staying. After three days of sloth and gluttony (the food may not be that great, but the fact that there is always some within arms reach means my calorie count is probably three times normal and I can’t help but think of Homer Simpson trying to get his weight up to 300 pounds so he could qualify for disability), it is this need to arrange for the remaining nights that breaks us from our stupor and gets us back on our way.

“…though they wept bitterly I forced them back to the ships and made them fast under the benches. Then I told the rest to go on board at once, lest any of them should taste of the lotus and leave off wanting to get home, so they took their places and smote the grey sea with their oars.”

So, what did I learn from this experience? Two things really. First, I get the all-inclusive concept now. Sure I make fun of it, and it will never be my ideal vacation, but I have to admit that our boys would love it. Being able to play in the pool all day and then walk up to a machine and fill your glass with as much chocolate milk as you want is their land of milk and honey. The second is that my brain is really full of amazingly useless information. Seriously, on penalty of pain I forget my anniversary, but I remember lotus-eaters?

We traveled today from Cesme to Pamukkale, which is about 200 miles southeast. Having forgone the $400 private car service, we instead went the full on bus experience – churning through a total of three buses before finally getting to our hotel. While a little underwhelmed by the Tripadvisor choice in Cappadocia, we decided to stick with them one more time and are booked for the night at a place called the Melrose Hotel.

Pamukkale’s claim to fame is the white hillside on the outskirts of town, formed by thousands of years of mineral-laden water bubbling up from a hot spring and leaving calcium behind as it cools. The Romans liked the place so much, they built an entire city at the top called Hierapolis, whose primary attraction was the baths fed by the springs. Many of the ruins are still visible, but for us, they are a side note next to the natural wonder of the travertines.

A big problem with nature is that it occurs on such a scale that it’s hard to capture with a picture. We still joke about the hundreds of pictures we have from Arches National Park in Utah that were all “must haves” at the time, but after getting them home, looked mostly indistinguishable from one another. Pamukkale is no different, so for anyone interested in looking at a hundred pictures of white rocks, I know a guy, who knows a guy that has some.

The site is a lot more controlled now than it has been in the past (before it became a UNESCO site, some jackleg thought it would be a good idea to carve a road right up through the middle of it so lazy people wouldn’t have walk to the top). For $15 a head (which they use to fund maintenance and restoration), you can walk across the travertines in your bare feet (no shoes allowed) and lounge in the series of pools that have formed along the trail. There are pretty strict rules about staying in certain areas (security guards whistle you down if you try and go off the beaten path), but sadly none dealing with men wearing banana hammocks or women seriously straining the holding power of bikini fabric.

As the afternoon passes the temperature falls pretty quickly, so we head down into the town to find some dinner. Like most places we have been so far, it is pretty quiet, but definitely built to accommodate a horde as summer wears on. While some warmer days would definitely have been appreciated this trip, we’re thankful we came the time of year when we did.

The Melrose turns out to be one of our favorite hotels so far, restoring our faith in Tripadvisor, its clean, quaint, and the owners are almost annoyingly friendly. There is a large part of me that wouldn’t mind spending a bit more time here, sitting out on the patio with something engaging on the Kindle, but tomorrow its back on the bus and off to the Turkish Riviera.

We’ve had some mellow days on vacation, but today we may have set a new standard for laziness. Even though the sun was out, we spent most of the morning puttering around the hotel room, talking with the boys and trying to figure out where (and how) we are going next. We want to see Pamukkale, but that means a 4-5 hours bus ride, so the direct flight to Antalya holds some appeal as well, even though it means missing one of the popular sights. Ultimately, we decide on the bus, and the rest of our plans start to fall into place from there.

By around lunch time, we rally enough to leave the hotel and walk to the travel agency, hoping that there is a tour going direct to Pamukkale that we can catch a ride on. Sadly, there isn’t one going tomorrow, but for the bargain price of $400, the agent offers to drive us there in his car and give us a private tour. As tempting as that is, we opt for the scheduled bus service and set up our reservations.

Pretty much exhausted by the flurry of activity, we head back to the hotel, picking up a few snacks on the way at the no frills grocery store we call Costco. Throughout the afternoon, we make some half-hearted attempts to go down to the pool (even though it is sunny, it is quite windy, so the beach is out), but Angela is consumed reading Tripadvisor reviews for hotels in Antalya, and I am content enough with my Kindle that it just doesn’t happen.

That we’re perfectly happy spending an entire day in our room is probably a reasonable indicator that we’ve done all we need to do in Cesme, so in that light, good that we will soon be on the move.

We started out early this morning (as Angela so likes to do). At 7:00 am, the rental car we arranged for today arrived at the hotel, and after a few minutes of paperwork (written entirely in Turkish) we pick up our wheels. As we give it a quick once over to note existing damage, it’s hard to miss the custom paint job all along the driver’s side.

We hope to see a couple places today and the theory is we can do that faster on our own than if we arrange for seats on tours, which we would have to do over multiple days. Before getting on the highway however, we stop to experience one of the unique gifts of Turkey – $10 a gallon gas.

Our first stop is Pergamon, which lies about an hour north of Izmir and two hours from our hotel in Cesme (or, as it turns out, three if you get lost). As historical sites in Turkey go, it is less well known than Ephesus, but both of our guidebooks recommend it, so it seems like a worthwhile trip.

The actual site sits atop a hill that you get to by gondola, and in many respects, the location is as impressive as the city itself. On the summit though, there is no break from the weather, which is freakishly cold and windy, with some rain mixed in once in a while for good measure.

In general, sites like these have undergone far less restoration in Turkey than in other countries, so, while some structures have been partially rebuilt, much of what exists are just ruins of old buildings and foundations for what was once there. Overall, we find it interesting but not spectacular, a clear indicator of just how spoiled we have become.

Our next destination is Ephesus, which unfortunately sits about an hour south of Izmir. This has been on my list of places to see ever since we were in Greece, but after Pergamon, I’m a little nervous that it won’t live up to my expectations. I take it as a good omen though that by the time we arrive, the sky has cleared and the sun is shining brightly.

Even by our unrealistic standards, Ephesus is amazing. The site itself is huge, and while most of the buildings have long since collapsed or been destroyed (including the Temple of Artemis which was one of the original Seven Wonders), enough remain or have been restored to give a good sense for just how big it once was. Several of the main streets still exist, and it’s not hard to wander down the marble avenues and imagine how it looked as a vibrant city thousands of years ago.

For me, the two most fascinating buildings are the Grand Theater (the picture below is a stitched together panorama so looks better if you click it and blow it up to full size – for a sense of scale the tiny blue spec on the very left side is Angela), with its 44,000 person capacity (the largest in the ancient world), and the library, which in its day was the third largest in the world (after Alexandria and Pergamon). Even the community bathroom is interesting in its own weird way – a place where you could hike up your robes with 40 or so of your neighbors and catch up of the day’s gossip while taking care of your business.

By the time we drive back to Cesme it is almost 7:00 pm. We have no further need for the car, but there is still a bit of the $125 worth of gas we put in the tank left, so I feel morally obligated to drive aimlessly around town until we’re on fumes. My quest for value loses out to my innate laziness though, so we drop off our custom ride and head back to the hotel.

It was a good day, a despite the dodgy weather to start and several hours of driving, I’m happy with the result. There are only a few specific sights that we have left on our list (Pamukkale and Olympos) which we will tackle from Antalya once we move there in a few days.

We’re feeling a bit more energetic today, and since I’m too red to be laying out in the sun more, we decide to check out a few of the little towns near our hotel. To get around locally in Turkey (other than Istanbul where there is a metro), the preferred means is a network of privately run micro-buses called dolmas. These follow a set route, but have no fixed stops, so they just pick people up wherever they are along the route and drop them off whenever they want to stop. The system works pretty well, and few a few Turkish Lira, gets us around pretty easily.

The first place we visit is Alacati, about 5 minutes from our hotel. Its claim to fame is that many of the old houses along the narrow, cobblestone streets have been converted to restaurants, high end shops, and bed and breakfasts. As the roads are barely wide enough to fit a car, it a quaint, mostly pedestrian part of town that reminds us a lot of parts of Greece. Making it even better, we happen across a place giving free donuts, quickly catapulting Alacati to one of my favorite parts of Turkey.

As with the area around our hotel, quite a few places aren’t yet open for the busy season, but we manage to find a couple of things for the boys, and the obligatory doner stand for lunch.

Hopping back on the dolma, we go into the old part of Cesme. The highlight here is an old fort overlooking the bay that is open to the public. Its not a major stop on any of the formal tours, so there are no crowds to speak of, and aside from a handful of areas undergoing restoration, nothing is off limits. There is also a small museum dedicated to the Battle of Chesma, which I found a little odd given that it was a battle the Turkish side (then the Ottomans) lost.

On the dolma ride back to our hotel, some of the local schoolgirls take the time to remind me how handsome I am. Angela wants to believe they just didn’t know much English, and she can get a little feisty at times, so I just nod my head and agree.

Today was a down day, and even though it wasn’t particularly warm, the sun was out and we took full advantage by parking ourselves in a beach chair and doing a whole lot of nothing. Clouds came and went with enough frequency for me to convince myself there was no need to dip into out small stash of sunscreen, and by midday, I was rewarded with the somewhat inexplicable combination of lobster skin on my left arm and right leg. This development was soon followed by the annual lobster migration, as they make their way from the beach to the nearest pharmacy for aloe gel.

Otherwise, not much to report. We did a little wandering around town and picked up some information on tours and car rentals for the coming days. We also spent a fair amount of time debating where to go once our time here is complete. Being sun starved up to today, we have debated the merits of going to Cyprus (about a 90 minute flight) or Rhodes (two hours on a ferry). Ultimately, after studying the forecast, I think we have settled on sticking to the original plan and moving down to Antalya, albeit a little sooner than expected.

With the exception of the mornings after a Turkish rave (those will be the pictures of us with the glow in the dark necklaces), I usually get an hour or so of time to catch up on emails and such before my trusty travel companion rolls out of bed for the day. So today is no different as I set myself up in my window office and get connected.

What is different, is that I as work, I hear the recurring sound of hot air balloon burners going off. This area is a pretty popular place to take a balloon ride, so the first half dozen times, I don’t think much of it (the staging area is close to our hotel so a couple of balloons taking off in the morning is no big deal). After about the 50th time, I get curious enough to leave my office and take a look out the front door. What greets me it this:

I don’t count them all, but I figure there has to be at least sixty balloons, all taking off into a beautifully clear, blue sky. It’s a mesmerizing sight, so much so that at the risk of grave physical harm, I wake up Sleeping Beauty to come take a look.

Not surprisingly, things get a little more boring after this. After breakfast, we catch the shuttle back to Kayseri for our flight to Izmir. We are in search now of some sun and warm temperatures and hope to find it when we get to the beach.

Our final destination is Cesme, which is about an hour drive out on a peninsula from Izmir. It’s a $120 cab ride, so we opt for the bus (two ultimately), which proves to be completely painless, other than the two blocks we have to walk with our luggage to the hotel.

We know it is early for tourist season in this part of the country, but as we check in, it feels downright spooky. Other than the bellman and the desk clerk, we don’t see anybody. Not a single person in the lobby. No one in the restaurant. Nobody by the pool. It is not until we finally get to our room and look down on the rows of beach chairs that finally spot one other actual guest (a dark spot on an otherwise sea of white).

Throughout the town, the pattern is the same as we walk by closed restaurants, empty stores, and vacation houses with their storm shutters drawn. I can’t help but think to myself that I should live in a place where when it is 70 degrees and sunny, that its considered a day not even worthy of going outside (versus Seattle, where such a day would be talked about all week for how amazing it was).